psychology

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From relationships and work to self love and structure, commitment phobic people can struggle with the fear of commitment on a daily basis. You might even feel angry towards a commitment phobe because of their lack of commitment to you or with the ways they make commitments and retreat from them at the last minute… It’s important to understand that commitment phobic people want to commit but their fear overwhelms them. They want to love, share and experience probably all the exciting things you are suggesting but they cannot say yes without experiencing high levels of anxiety. This fear comes from early experiences of abandonment and loneliness in the commitment phobe’s life.

There are ways you can get the commitment you are looking for from your commitment phobe friend/ partner but it won’t be easy. Commitment phobes are wonderful people to have in your life but they are like flowers and will test your patience for a long time until they bloom.

If the commitment phobe tells you about their fear of commitment, it is a sign that they want you to know about it so you can understand them and be in their lives. The next three moves are down to you:

1. Be understanding – Be someone who doesn’t think their fear of commitment is a selfish act but understands and appreciates where the anxieties are coming from. Tell them you know how hard it is for them to agree to something before you suggest something, and let them know that you don’t need an answer right away.

2. Practice tough love – Be someone who is emotionally stable and secure enough to not get sucked into the games the commitment phobe plays out. If you begin to become scared or angry about their lack of commitment, they will feel like you’re not strong enough for them and walk away. Be kind, but firm. Be honest about your own needs and stand your ground.

3. Show them commitment – Be someone who is committed to help the commitment phobe feel safe enough to come out their hiding place. Commitment phobia, like all fears, is just a wall to hide behind. Seeing that there is nothing to fear is a great relief to a commitment phobe and their walls will begin to slowly melt away.

Don’t be seduced into the games or walk away. Be patient and consistent. If you want the love you know a commitment phobe has locked away in their heart, stay strong, open and committed… Those are the reasons they were attracted to you in the first place.

For more help please contact us today.

Nurse The Soul

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Counselling and Psychotherapy is a safe space where you can explore your insecurities, see what you are really capable of and find out how beautiful you are, both inside and out.

Nurse The Soul offers low cost confidential and compassionate therapy to all adolescents, young adults and parents. Call us today on 07545913193 for more information or to book an appointment.

Nurse The Soul 

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Nurse The Soul is launching Soul Play, a creative non-verbal therapy for adolescents, young people and adults.

Soul Play is a Transpersonal Play Therapy. It is a natural therapy used for healing illness, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, learning difficulties, abuse and anger issues. The sessions can involve anything from art, drama, sand, toy, story, visualisation, body to dream work. It is suitable for any age, individually tailored for each client and a confidential, long or short term therapeutic approach.

Techniques are only used when they suit the therapy, the client understands their use and they are willing to try them out. For more information or to book a consultation contact Nurse The Soul today on 07545913193.

Nurse The Soul

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The happier we are, the more we enjoy life. Happiness makes people more sociable and altruistic, it plays a huge part in how we feel about ourselves and others and it strengthens our immune system. If our soul is happy, we are much more likely to be successful in both our personal and professional life.

The bad news is research has found 50% of our happiness is genetically determined… However, the good news is the other 50% depends on our daily lives and the way we think. Research has also found that suppressing negative thoughts and ‘positive thinking’ is more likely to decrease happiness because happiness is to do with acceptance.

So what do we do now? Nurse The Soul has tried and tested these top tips to happiness and we want to share them with you!

  1. Share your pain – Releasing negative emotions from the past cleanses your mind, body and soul. Venting emotions is also cathartic, if you can’t do this with your friends join a group you can share your feelings with or sign up to a course of psychotherapy.
  2. Be thankful – Look at the simple beauty surrounding you; things like fresh water, shadows, the way people smile when they are REALLY happy or the way they smile when they are looking at someone they love, a puppy so young it can’t run straight, sunlight touching your skin, you’ll find things you’ve never noticed before if you look close enough. It’s the little things. Why deny yourself the simpler pleasures in life?
  3. Do something selfish – What makes you feel relaxed and rewarded? Happiness depends on indulging in what make you feel good everyday in order to stimulate your reward system and reinforce the positive choices you are making. Have a bath, go for a run, read a book, watch a sunrise, play with the dog, play with a little kid and be enlightened by their free spirit, feel the grass between your toes or jump on a trampoline! Do anything that gives you a sense of pure JOY.
  4. Do something selfless – Kindness brings happiness and it’s free! Genuinely ask how someone is and mean it, walk a neighbour’s dog, give someone your seat on the tube… I can assure you they will appreciate it and you will also be blessed with good karma.
  5. Allow room for mistakes – We all make them. It’s time to accept this is just part of human nature and how we learn. My favourite way to think about this is by imagining a baby learning to walk, how many times do they fall before they take their first few steps!
  6. Stress less and nourish your body more – Breathe and take a look at Nurse The Soul’s previous posts on dealing with stress and anxiety! Treat your body like something you are looking after, stretch, exercise, eat lots of fruits and vegetables, drink a lot of water and moisturise!
  7. Patience vs Procrastination – We are not completely in control of everything and we never will be. It takes time to achieve what we really want and it can be intimidating so we can rush things or put things off all together. Acceptance and balance is the secret to success in all areas of life!
  8. Laugh – Force it if you have to! It is proven that the face you make when you laugh triggers muscle memory which automatically improves your overall mood. It’s almost impossible to laugh whilst thinking a negative thought. Laughs are also infectious for all the right reasons! If you have the ability to brighten your day as well as someone else’s with something so simple – DO IT! I bet you feel even just a little better…
  9. Love – Feel it, express it, give it and receive it! Love is limitless so embrace it and love as much as possible. Make a plan to remind someone how much you love them and how much they mean to you everyday. Opening your heart brings passion, harmony, happiness and acceptance. Love yourself first and then slowly watch the amount of love that pours into your life.
  10. Live in the moment – Last but not least, if you knew this was your last day today, what would you be doing? Now why aren’t you doing it? Think about it.

In short, show grace, acceptance, love and kindness. It’s time to start feeling happy in your soul every single day!

Nurse The Soul

Image | | nursethesoul

Want to share this helpful tool with anyone who needs it… This is called a feeling wheel. It can help you get to the core emotion you/ your client is experiencing and help you/ your client name each feeling when feeling overwhelmed with many emotions. It is especially useful for people who find it hard putting their feelings into words and identifying emotions. #psychotherapy #psychoanalysis #therapy #psychology #shrink