thefibrodiaries:

Don’t you dare tell trauma survivors they are overreacting for getting triggered by something that reminds them of their trauma even if you think it’s something stupid to be getting in a state over. Traumatic events can be tied to all sorts of triggers so don’t be an unsympathetic asshole.

psych-book-quotes-blog:

Here’s a good, but not exhaustive, sampling:

1. Sharing your feelings or troubles with others will make them feel burdened.

2. Sharing your feelings or troubles with others will chase them away.

3. If you let other people see how you feel, they will use it against you.

4. Sharing your feelings with others will make you look weak.

5. Letting others see your weaknesses puts you at a disadvantage.

6. It’s best not to fight if you want to have a good relationship.

7. Talking about a problem isn’t helpful. Only action solves a problem.

Fortunately, not one of these beliefs is true. In fact, they are each and every one dead wrong. (The only exception is if you share your feelings with another emotionally neglected person, who may not have any idea how to respond). When you grow up receiving consistent direct or indirect messages that you should keep your feelings to yourself, it is natural to assume that those feelings are burdensome and undesirable to others.

theemotionalkiwi:

being abandoned literally feels like your heart is being ripped out of your chest and you can’t breathe lol thx for coming to my ted talk

spaghetti-sundae:

I have noticed an overwhelming amount of people (including myself) not realize they’re abused until some time later, years even, when they think of it or mention it to someone and just realize “hey, that’s pretty fucked up” and it’s really disheartening how normalized abuse had become

postingtrauma:

As a child I felt much older than my years because I had to deal with things no child should ever have to. As an adult I feel much younger than my years because of all the ways my childhood trauma has held me back.

datingcptsd:

A checklist of things:

• Patience. 
• Discuss boundaries. If those boundaries aren’t working, rediscuss them. 
• Empathy and understanding. Their trauma might be very different from your own. Take time to learn what sets each other off.
• Patience.
• Be honest with one another, as much as possible. Learn how to say no. Learn how to say yes. 
• Self-care, whatever that means–whether it’s isolating yourself for a bit or taking a night for the two of you.
• Take care of each other. Ask them to help you. Offer to help them. 
• Patience. 
• Patience.
• Please be patient, as much as you can be. Recovery is a hard road that, I think, never ends. You’re in this together. Make that a blessing. 

furiousgoldfish:

behavioural and emotional patterns of living in abuse:

• you spend most of your time shut in your room
• you’re scared of footsteps approaching your door
• you prefer not to come out unless there’s nobody home
• when they come back you run to your room/safe place
• you’re nervous and anxious if you have to spend time in presence of others
• you try to get away from your home, you wish you could live somewhere else
• your self-confidence is very low
• you worry about making too much noise (have a feeling you’ll get yellet at
  or abused for it)
• you try to move around as silently as possible and try to not be noticed by
  anyone
• you feel uncomfortable and uneasy sitting at the same table as rest of
  family/housemates
• you don’t feel like you belong here
• you feel like a burden to your housemates
• you don’t feel like you’re worth having around or supporting in any way
• you don’t feel like anyone will ever love you or believe in you
• you don’t feel like anything you do is good enough
• you can’t stand someone watching you do things like cleaning or anything
  else you need to get done
• you try really hard to still find good points about your life and cling to
  them
• you strongly worry that you are somehow worse than anyone else
• you feel like you’re behind on everyone and that you’re failing to live
  your life properly
• you don’t feel like anything would have changed if you died, or even that
  it would be better if you did

if you’re experiencing most of this, you’re going through abuse. Your value
isn’t in any way less than other humans, and you are absolutely not any kind of
burden. You are human who is forced to live in a way humans aren’t meant to
live. You are in living conditions that disable you from feeling happy,
fulfilled, or even seeing yourself as a human being.  You are suffering. What is being done to you
is not okay. You deserve better than this.

deathlynarrow:

shybiviolet:

avpdkicking:

• making yourself sleep deprived
• making yourself cold (not wearing warm clothes in the winter, sleeping without a blanket etc)
• not eating
• not drinking
• eating too much
• not looking before crossing the street
• scratching
• letting your skin be dry & break easily
• picking at skin
• over-exercising
• substance abuse
• over-working yourself
• making yourself go out and do things even though you’re exhausted
• putting yourself in anxiety-inducing situations (even if you have a choice to stay out of them)
• triggering yourself
• purposefully angering someone who you know will yell at you
• entering relationships you don’t want to be in/being around people you don’t want to be around
• having sex when you don’t want to
• setting yourself punishments
• not giving yourself time
• not letting yourself spend time with the people you love & know will be good to you

stop assuming that self-harm is visible and easy to notice.

Oh my goodness I actually didn’t know that a lot of things on this list counted as self harm. Like I will do a lot of those when I’m upset or angry at myself, but I’ll just frame it in my head as “not doing nice stuff for myself because I don’t deserve it” instead of “not doing really important things like eating because I’m angry/sad/scared and want to be self-destructive”

Thanks very much for this, this is something I need to remember when I’m struggling.

People need to know this