love

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• Take a few #moments to go inside and quiet your #mind. Find that still place within yourself and #rest there for a while. • Now think, who are the #people and/or #animals from your past and present that you have loved? You can go all the way back to your #childhood, to #parents, grandparents, nannies, friends, teachers, or pets you had. Did you have a pet as a child whom you felt a special bond? You can focus on those who are alive and special to you now. Do you have a close #friend you #love? • If the people or animals are decreased and you feel sad when you think of them, see if you can put these #feelings aside and focus only on your love for them. Remember that this love never dies. What they gave to you continues to be a resource for you throughout your life. • You might want to #imagine a container made of something strong into which you can put your grief or sadness, or any other painful thoughts or feelings. The container can be a treasure box with a strong lid that you can open when you would like. In the meantime, putting these feelings in there will allow you to focus on the good feelings. • Now bring up an image of a person or animal you love or have loved in the past. Bring the person or animal to mind as strongly as you can. The image should evoke only #positive feelings. For example, you might imagine yourself sitting on your parent’s lap as a child and being read a story. As you bring this image to mind, let yourself feel your love for your parent. Let the feeling of love fill your heart as much as possible. • As you imagine your loving resource person, you can increase the memory by activating the #senses. What are you seeing, smelling, hearing, feeling? Take in this person’s loving #presence. Feel it in your #body. Remember what it feels like to be loved, to be seen. Focus only on positive #imagery and feelings. Put aside any #memories or disappointed feelings. • Continue bringing up images of loving resource people as long as you like. You can bring this #meditation to life afterwards by #drawing or journaling about your #experience. If you have someone you can do this with, you can take turns to read the meditation slowly to one another too. • #Enjoy!

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Unlike depression and anxiety, stress in the work place is something many of us can openly empathize with and talk about in a throw away manner after a days work. It is becoming a social norm that work induced stress is part of the job and ‘pushing yourself’ has become a duty, rather than a choice.

Ben Jacobson, a co-founder of Conifer Research, told The Wall Street Journal ‘No one wants to be seen as the slowest moving object in the solar system. You have to keep up with the Joneses – literally’. What we are really telling ourselves with this thought process is money, status and material possessions are more important than our health and happiness.

In short periods of time intense focus created by stress and the fight or flight mechanism can be used productively. Daily stress is different, it is not only difficult to manage but it has a negative ripple effect on our health and relationships, which in turn can lead to more serious problems such as depression and addiction.

My simple secret to dealing with stress in the workplace is by developing a better relationship with your mind, body and soul. Here are eight steps to help you make that change and lessen the stress in your life.

  1. Listen to your unique body – notice what stimulates stress for you and question why you are allowing yourself to meet that situation time and time again.
  2. Cut down on drinking – A little catch twenty-two but the nights before a big day at work should involve a clean evening. Find new ways to relax and swap them for that glass of wine!
  3. Practice mindfulness and meditation – It is really important that you take time for you. Start your day by spending a couple of minutes after you wake up deep breathing and increase this over time. YouTube also has wonderful, easy to follow meditation videos you can listen to in bed on your smart phone.
  4. Eat healthy – It’s easy to eat complex foods when you’re under stress as you think it will give you more time to deal with what you are stressed over but putting processed foods in your mouth will only increase the negative balance in your body and make it harder to manage the stress.
  5. Spend more time doing the things you enjoy – Don’t agree to doing things you don’t want to do! This is really important as pressure from peers and family can make you feel guilty if they invite you to something and you want to say no. It is not selfish to put yourself first. Develop your boundaries and treat yourself when you make time for you in the evenings and weekends.
  6. Exercise – If you really feel like you don’t have time to go to the gym, try a 20-minute run or an exercise class on the fitness channels. Twenty jumping jacks in the kitchen or bathroom at work when no one is looking can also increase your serotonin levels and temporarily combat stress!
  7. Learn something new outside your work environment – This will take your mind off your work related topics and make you feel good about yourself.
  8. Follow your heart – If you don’t wake up looking forward to your job because of the amount of stress it is causing you, think about finding a new profession that is more suited to your soul nature. Changing careers can be hard but a difficult career move will always be easier than a life of work induced stress.

Tasks at work should be enjoyable, challenge you and be a learning experience. Learn to enjoy your working life as much as your play time by following my simple secret and live, love and dream your way to your new stress free life.

Nurse The Soul

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From relationships and work to self love and structure, commitment phobic people can struggle with the fear of commitment on a daily basis. You might even feel angry towards a commitment phobe because of their lack of commitment to you or with the ways they make commitments and retreat from them at the last minute… It’s important to understand that commitment phobic people want to commit but their fear overwhelms them. They want to love, share and experience probably all the exciting things you are suggesting but they cannot say yes without experiencing high levels of anxiety. This fear comes from early experiences of abandonment and loneliness in the commitment phobe’s life.

There are ways you can get the commitment you are looking for from your commitment phobe friend/ partner but it won’t be easy. Commitment phobes are wonderful people to have in your life but they are like flowers and will test your patience for a long time until they bloom.

If the commitment phobe tells you about their fear of commitment, it is a sign that they want you to know about it so you can understand them and be in their lives. The next three moves are down to you:

1. Be understanding – Be someone who doesn’t think their fear of commitment is a selfish act but understands and appreciates where the anxieties are coming from. Tell them you know how hard it is for them to agree to something before you suggest something, and let them know that you don’t need an answer right away.

2. Practice tough love – Be someone who is emotionally stable and secure enough to not get sucked into the games the commitment phobe plays out. If you begin to become scared or angry about their lack of commitment, they will feel like you’re not strong enough for them and walk away. Be kind, but firm. Be honest about your own needs and stand your ground.

3. Show them commitment – Be someone who is committed to help the commitment phobe feel safe enough to come out their hiding place. Commitment phobia, like all fears, is just a wall to hide behind. Seeing that there is nothing to fear is a great relief to a commitment phobe and their walls will begin to slowly melt away.

Don’t be seduced into the games or walk away. Be patient and consistent. If you want the love you know a commitment phobe has locked away in their heart, stay strong, open and committed… Those are the reasons they were attracted to you in the first place.

For more help please contact us today.

Nurse The Soul

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Counselling and Psychotherapy is a safe space where you can explore your insecurities, see what you are really capable of and find out how beautiful you are, both inside and out.

Nurse The Soul offers low cost confidential and compassionate therapy to all adolescents, young adults and parents. Call us today on 07545913193 for more information or to book an appointment.

Nurse The Soul 

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The happier we are, the more we enjoy life. Happiness makes people more sociable and altruistic, it plays a huge part in how we feel about ourselves and others and it strengthens our immune system. If our soul is happy, we are much more likely to be successful in both our personal and professional life.

The bad news is research has found 50% of our happiness is genetically determined… However, the good news is the other 50% depends on our daily lives and the way we think. Research has also found that suppressing negative thoughts and ‘positive thinking’ is more likely to decrease happiness because happiness is to do with acceptance.

So what do we do now? Nurse The Soul has tried and tested these top tips to happiness and we want to share them with you!

  1. Share your pain – Releasing negative emotions from the past cleanses your mind, body and soul. Venting emotions is also cathartic, if you can’t do this with your friends join a group you can share your feelings with or sign up to a course of psychotherapy.
  2. Be thankful – Look at the simple beauty surrounding you; things like fresh water, shadows, the way people smile when they are REALLY happy or the way they smile when they are looking at someone they love, a puppy so young it can’t run straight, sunlight touching your skin, you’ll find things you’ve never noticed before if you look close enough. It’s the little things. Why deny yourself the simpler pleasures in life?
  3. Do something selfish – What makes you feel relaxed and rewarded? Happiness depends on indulging in what make you feel good everyday in order to stimulate your reward system and reinforce the positive choices you are making. Have a bath, go for a run, read a book, watch a sunrise, play with the dog, play with a little kid and be enlightened by their free spirit, feel the grass between your toes or jump on a trampoline! Do anything that gives you a sense of pure JOY.
  4. Do something selfless – Kindness brings happiness and it’s free! Genuinely ask how someone is and mean it, walk a neighbour’s dog, give someone your seat on the tube… I can assure you they will appreciate it and you will also be blessed with good karma.
  5. Allow room for mistakes – We all make them. It’s time to accept this is just part of human nature and how we learn. My favourite way to think about this is by imagining a baby learning to walk, how many times do they fall before they take their first few steps!
  6. Stress less and nourish your body more – Breathe and take a look at Nurse The Soul’s previous posts on dealing with stress and anxiety! Treat your body like something you are looking after, stretch, exercise, eat lots of fruits and vegetables, drink a lot of water and moisturise!
  7. Patience vs Procrastination – We are not completely in control of everything and we never will be. It takes time to achieve what we really want and it can be intimidating so we can rush things or put things off all together. Acceptance and balance is the secret to success in all areas of life!
  8. Laugh – Force it if you have to! It is proven that the face you make when you laugh triggers muscle memory which automatically improves your overall mood. It’s almost impossible to laugh whilst thinking a negative thought. Laughs are also infectious for all the right reasons! If you have the ability to brighten your day as well as someone else’s with something so simple – DO IT! I bet you feel even just a little better…
  9. Love – Feel it, express it, give it and receive it! Love is limitless so embrace it and love as much as possible. Make a plan to remind someone how much you love them and how much they mean to you everyday. Opening your heart brings passion, harmony, happiness and acceptance. Love yourself first and then slowly watch the amount of love that pours into your life.
  10. Live in the moment – Last but not least, if you knew this was your last day today, what would you be doing? Now why aren’t you doing it? Think about it.

In short, show grace, acceptance, love and kindness. It’s time to start feeling happy in your soul every single day!

Nurse The Soul