Putting your Love Language to work
Here are examples of things you can do to speak your Love Language to yourself.
QUALITY TIME—DO SOMETHING BY YOURSELF REGULARLY
Morning pages, the practice of writing three stream of consciousness pages each morning. This is especially good if you fall in the “quality conversation” sub-section of quality time
An hour in the morning to relax, read, have coffee, watch
TV before going to work
Go to the movies by yourself
Go for a walk
Read a book you love
Watch your favorite TV show
PHYSICAL TOUCH—DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR BODY OR FOR YOUR BODY
Blowouts—I love getting my hair blown out at Dry Bar or
a place similar. It feels like such a treat.
Nice long bath with candles
Masturbate—solo sexy time
Hold a hot mug of tea or coffee
Spend time outside to feel a nice breeze or the sun on your skin
Do a face mask
ACTS OF SERVICE—DO SOMETHING FOR YOURSELF
Errands—grocery shopping, take your clothes to the drycleaner
Chores—laundry, cleaning your room, changing the sheets
Book travel ahead of time
Buy yourself a dress a month before a wedding or event you have to attend so you don’t have to worry about it.
Make your bed every morning
De-clutter your space. Get rid of the things that you don’t love anymore.
Hire someone to do any of the things listed above for you
That thing you’ve been meaning to take care of forever— do that!
WORDS OF AFFIRMATION—DO SOMETHING
TO ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR STRENGTHS AND BEAUTY, WHAT MAKES YOU YOU
Share your successes with someone close to you
Write your successes down, try a “win” list
Keep a gratitude journal
In her book Money: A Love Story, Kate Northrup recommends an exercise that every day for 21 days you write things down that you love about yourself. You can’t repeat.
Have a dialogue with your inner critic and/or intuition
Repeat a mantra. Example: inhale strong, exhale stable
Make a list of compliments and positive feedback people have given you or keep a “praise” folder in your email. Review regularly.
RECEIVING GIFTS—GIVE SOMETHING TO YOURSELF, BUY SOMETHING FOR YOURSELF
Buy things for yourself
Get yourself flowers once a week
Treat yourself to a new book or journal
Buy yourself a nice cup of coffee or tea every morning
Take leftovers home from dinner out, from parties, etc
Get a pack of pens you really like
Give yourself permission to buy the nicer bottle of wine you like
Knit yourself a scarf
Splurge on that one pair of just-out-of-your-normal
budget shoes or one bag that you really want