You can have whatever you want in life when you know how to commit to your goals. If you come from a broken home or lack of emotional support as a child through difficult times you will find committing excruciatingly painful. Commitment doesn’t come naturally if you haven’t internalised it from modelling or experience.
When a bad time comes you will find it very hard to face it head on, avoidance, anxiety and depression can set in, sometimes even grief. It can feel overwhelming, too much and numbing out can be a coping mechanism here. This is because the bad time will unconsciously connect to earlier wounding if you haven’t worked through it.