Nurse The Soul’s spiritual outlook is grounded in the belief that transpersonal psychotherapy and the twelve steps are key to working with addiction.
We must work with our inner child and mother her through transpersonal psychotherapy using creative play, visualisation, archetype work, the body, dreams, different planes of consciousness, art and voice. The inner child must be heard, nurtured and soothe through the therapy and given the unconditional that wasn’t received. Uncovering the soul nature is fundamental for break through.
The twelve steps hold the archetype of the father, it teaches boundaries, faith and takes away the isolation. In the program you learn how to trust, share and be held. It is not religious, it is a spiritual path. Some people believe in the Universe, some people in the power of the steps, some in their own understanding of God.
A combination of transpersonal therapy and the steps is important for recovery. Usually one comes first and then the other is found. It is not necessary to start both at once however Nurse The Soul will usually recommend the twelve steps to clients struggling with addiction during the course of the therapy.

Toxic shame is primarily focused in significant relationships. If you do not value someone, it’s hard to imagine being shamed by what he says or does. The possibility of toxic shame begins with our source relationships. If our primary care givers are shame based, they will act shameless and pass the toxic shame on to us. There is no way to teach self value if one does not value oneself.
Toxic shame is multi generational. It has passed from one generation to the next. Shame based people find other shame based people and get married. As a couple each carries the shame from his or her own family system. The marriage will be grounded in their shame core. The major outcome of this will be a lack of intimacy. It’s difficult to let someone close to you if you feel defective and flawed as a human being. Shame based couples maintain non-intimacy through poor communication, non-productive circular fighting, games, manipulation, vying for control, withdrawal, blaming and confluence. Confluence is the agreement never to disagree. Confluence creates pseudo intimacy.
When a child is born to the same based parents, the deck is stopped from the beginning. The job of the parents is to model.modelling in please how to be a man and a woman, how to relate intimately to another person, how to acknowledge and express emotions, how to fight fairly, how to have physical, emotional and intellectual boundaries, how to communicate, how to cope and survive life’s unending problems, how to be self disciplined, how to love oneself and another. Shame based parents cannot do any of these. They simply don’t know how.
Children need their parents’ time and attention. Giving one’s time is part of the work of love. It means being there for the child, attending to the child’s needs rather than the parent’s needs. Shame based parents cannot possibly take care of their children’s needs. The child is shamed whenever he or she is needy because the child’s needs clash with the parents needs. The child grows up and becomes an adult. But underneath the mask of adult behaviour there is a child who was neglected. This needy child is insatiable. What that means is that when the child becomes an adult, there is a hole in his soul. He can never get enough as an adult. Adults make what they get to be enough and work harder to get more the next time. An adult child can’t get enough because it’s really a child’s needs that are in question.

You wake up every morning to fight the same demons that left you so tired the night before, and that, my love, is bravery.

Don’t date a girl just because everyone else in the room can’t take their eyes off her, or that black dress hugs her curves perfectly. Date a girl who you think about while waiting for the subway. Who makes you want your words to sound like some pretentious asshole who sits at Starbucks all day with a laptop wrote them. Date a girl who makes you think of stargazing in the summer and hot drinks in the winter. Date a girl who makes certain moments of your life unforgettable. Don’t date a girl who if after two weeks she “won’t give it up” to you. Don’t date a girl who if after 6 months won’t give it up. Date a girl who you will wait till the ends of the earth ‘til she’s ready, a girl who you will gladly light the candles for. Date a girl who you will do anything to get that smile that melts your heart. Don’t date a girl who you’re dependent on. Date a girl who makes you more dependent on yourself to be better.

I’m falling apart again but I’m too tired to care.

It’s exciting when you find parts of yourself in someone else.

At age 2, the anxiety is normal.
The emotional attachment is welcomed,
a natural part of the developmental process.

At age 3, my sister is born and I
am being to clingy. I am taught
to play alone because there is always
someone more deserving of the attention.

At age 5, my parents know the worst
punishment is when they take away
my stuffed animals.

At age 9, I hate giving away old clothes
because I feel like I’m losing apart of myself
that doesn’t quite fit but maybe if I suck
in more of my stomach it just might.

At age 13, my first crush tells me
that maybe if I didn’t try to hang around
him all the time, he might like me.

At age 14, I try to hide my emotions from
my boyfriend because I don’t want to
seem to clingy but they slam at my walls
like prisoners, my body a jail, my mouth
the bars, my razors the warden.

At age 15, my ex boyfriend tells me I fall
in love to fast. The everything I give
is to much. That he couldn’t handle
my jealousies, that I get attached to anyone
who shows me attention.

At age 16, my friends tell me they notice how
I never show when I’m hurt but always
seem to dig my claws into someone else. How
I get jealous when they hang out with other friends.

I plead them to understand that everyone in my
life has left. My body is a dam, holding back a
flood, creating a desert and the only thing left
are the single solitary oasis that define me as
a human being. My eyes will never be windows to
my soul, I’ve trained them to be glass, reflecting back
whatever you want to see. Friends…my all will always
be to much. My love will always feel like chains.

Separation anxiety, a psychological condition in which an individual experiences excessive anxiety regarding separation from the people to whom the individual has a strong emotional attachment.

Translation, my love will always be to much.

Someday someone won’t be afraid of how much you love. They won’t stay on the shore; they’ll meet you in the depths.

I have learned that when sadness comes to visit me, all I can do is say “I see you.” I spend some time with it, get up, and say goodbye.
I don’t push it away, I own it.
And because I own it, I let it go.