If your relationships have addictive game playing patterns you may be suffering from love addiction/ love avoidance. This is usually due to a fear of intimacy and abandonment. One of these fears is often unconscious which is why your emotions will either be overly out of control or frozen in a ruthless detached extreme. Couples who have intense highs and lows in relationships usually have one love addict and one love avoidant. At any time in the relationship the roles can switch. Usually this creates the cyclic relationship pattern of breaking up and coming either back together or starting a similar relationship with another partner. These best thing to do if you are suffering with these problems is to take a time out from relationships all together although this can be extremely hard for a love addict/ avoidant as the loneliness is excruciatingly painful. There won’t be that one relationship that changes everything… This pattern goes back to your initial attachment style with your primary caregiver(s) and can only really be changed with a commitment to therapy. If you are struggling with this the most important thing when looking for a therapist is to find someone you feel safe with to talk about your early experiences of abandonment and intimacy. Invest in yourself, overcome your fears and then you will experience love in it’s truest form.