I have an insane amount fear. Of everything PTSD related to any friendship, trusting anyone, relationships, jobs, words and I mean literally everything. I can’t believe anyone when they tell me they care, love me or will be there for me. I feel like everyone will abandon me and everyone is lying to me.

Every night
That I don’t hear
From you is like
Losing you
All over again.

When you look at me
Do you see
The girl you loved
Or the girl you left?

Dear Future Daughter:

1) When you’re at some party, chain smoking on the roof with some strange girl with blue hair and exorbitant large dark eyes, ask her about her day. I promise you, you won’t regret it. Often times you’ll find the strangest of people have the most captivating of stories to tell.

2) Please, never mistake desire for love. Love will engulf your soul, whilst desire will emerge as acid, slowly making it’s way through your veins, gradually burning you from the inside out.

3) No one is going to fucking save you, anything you’ve read or heard otherwise is bullshit.

4) One day a boy is going to come along who’s touch feels like fire and who’s words taste like vanilla, when he leaves you, you will want to die. If you know anything at all, know that it is only temporary.

5) Your mental health comes before school baby, always. If its midnight, and you have an exam the next day but your hands have been shaking for the past hour and a half and you’re not so sure you want to be alive anymore, pull out that carton of Ben and Jerry’s and afterwards, go the fuck to bed. So what if you get a 68% on the exam the next day? You took care of yourself and at the end of the day that will always come before a high test score. To hell with anyone who tells you differently.

Do it.
Get on the plane, get the train,
Walk 300 miles.
Get to her front door and tell her
“I know this is crazy
But I need you now.”
Our lives are too short to always be sensible,
Get the girl.
Distance makes no difference if your eyes light up when she laughs.